::Grrrrr.
12:10 p.m. - 2004-08-20
I deleted this paragraph from an email that I just sent to my sister about my mother, because I decided that it was probably just too rude and I should just forget about all of this and let it be. This is the whole email, with the deleted part in italics, for your amusement:
"Of course there's a lot more to it than that. There always is. She thinks my 'assumptions' are wrong, too, and that's what I'm backing down and I'm not going to be involved in this anymore.
For the record, though, I used be insist that she wasn't crazy, and wasn't schizophrenic. Maybe I did because I'm too proud to admit that would ever be possible. I'm changing my mind about it, though, and I don't mean this to be flippant, or offhand, or rude or anything like that. I think that she probably is just a little bit crazy, and I think maybe we all are, just a little bit.
I'm sorry that you feel like you are in the middle of this. I didn't mean for you to be. As far as I'm concerned, this is over and we don't have to talk about it any more unless you want to, for whatever reason. I'm not mad at her, I just miss the person that I thought I knew. I am happy to talk to her and I won't short or rude or whatever, if she wants to call me. I just won't have anything else to say about this, and that is that.
I know I'm stubborn, but it's just the way I am. Maybe someday I'll throw a dresser out of a third story window and they can all decide I'm schizophrenic and dope me up and send me off too.
Fuck this bullshit."
I'll try and come back and explain what the hell this all means later. Right now, though, I have to go and break something.
