::Making it happen for yourself and fending off the well wishing
11:03 a.m. - 2004-06-08
Yay! I can finally update! I've been trying to log in for 3 days, but every time I do I can't get in. Well, I'm here now.
I haven't updated for a little while. I didn't make the finals in Orlando, so I spent this past weekend explaining to my overly concerned mother that I'm fine and that you don't get them all, and that's just how it goes. And then I bought a vacuum because we didn't have one, and I cleaned my whole house. And then I baked a rhubarb pie for SW's birthday, which he loved and kept saying tasted just like his mother's (I used her recipe, so I guess it would, but that's still quite a compliment because she makes one **hell** of a rhubarb pie). I took him out to a great German resturaunt, which he also loved. Then on Sunday we went to the car swap meet and got sunburned. I spent too much money on gas and admission and garbage like beer and corn dogs at the fairgrounds, but I didn't find any parts I needed, which sucked.
Good news is that my vacuum line arrived for the Falcon and now she runs like a dream! My car is happy and I don't want to sell her and I'm just knocking wood that nothing else falls off for a while.
I talked to my sister, my mother, and a friend who just happenned to call on Friday and told them all about the results of the audition - namely that i didn't make the finals - and they all really had the same reaction. "Oh, I'm sorry! That really sucks! They're fuckheads and don't know what they're listening to... Keep your chin up, and keep trying..." etc, etc. At the time I was talking to them, I really didn't feel badly about it, I really just felt that's the way it goes and I'll give it my all at the next audition. I was even irritated that they all went on about it to such an extent! However, sometimes I really wonder if I am ever going to make anything out of myself at all. It's really fucking frustrating. I don't want to jinx myself, so I'll knock wood again. I don't know. It's almost like you have to have some experience to get some experience, and noone seems to be taking the bait. of course, I don't think that I helped anything by being so damn sick with teh sinus crap for so long, and the few auditions I did then, I know I sounded like shit. I'm in a little bit of a lull now - my teacher's finally coming back into town, but I don't have any auditions scheduled until Chicago Lyric in August. I'll make the best of this time to get these pieces in that "you can sing this upside down, naked, and in your sleep" arena. I can nix the ones I really don't like and replace them with ones that I do, if I start now and get them under my belt soon, so that they have time to develop and settle. Damn. I thought that my audition for Orlando went really well, actually, except that I spread a little on the high notes; but if that's all I have to think about in the next audition, I'll be gliding as easily as ice. Kudos to me for being my own pep squad.
As an aside, the NHL makes me insane sometimes. Calgary was robbed of the cup this year - they scored the goal that made it theirs and then noone bothered to notice. Florida hockey is abnormal and wrong. Grrr!!!
If I ever get any of the photos back from my audition trip to LA, I'll post one here.
